Thursday, December 2, 2021

Put Taylor Swift on the $100!

By Mark Frost, Chronicle Editor

The Obama administration intends to put a woman’s face on the front of the $10 bill, but I say they’re thinking too meekly and 10 times too cheaply.

Nor should they limit the currency candidates to women who have passed into history.

Americans love the new, not the old — and this is the chance to get young people especially to look at money in a fantastic, practical and economically sound new way.

Taylor Swift is the most popular woman in the world.

She came out of nowhere and conquered country music before she was even 20 years old. Then she left that behind to try and rule the world of pop music, too.

Pop star Taylor Swift is the most broadly popular woman in the world, which presents America with a unique monetary opportunity, argues our editor.
Pop star Taylor Swift is the most broadly popular woman in the world, which presents America with a unique monetary opportunity, argues our editor.

A year or two later, that’s exactly what she’s done. While other artists strain to get people to pay for their recordings, Taylor sells tunes and discs by the million (billion?). And her concerts not only fill stadiums, the biggest celebs in the world drop in to sing with or just schmooze with her on stage.

Here are just some of the A-listers who appeared by Taylor’s side on her most recent concert tour:

Dwayne Wade, Alanis Morisette, Ellen Degeneres, Little Big Town, Serena Williams, Kendall Jenner, Lena Dunham, Heidi Klum, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team, Lorde, Jason Derulo, Sam Hunt, quarterback Russell Wilson, Joan Baez, Julia Roberts, Kobe Bryant, Chris Rock, John Legend, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Avril Lavigne, Wiz Khalifa, Dierks Bentley, Steven Tyler, Nelly, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, Pit Bull.

You get the idea. Everybody who matters loves her, including kids and even their parents because Taylor’s managed to become this successful without even slutting.

She’s by all accounts a nice person, yet also formidable. When Apple tried to stream artists’ music without paying for it as people were trying the new service, it was Taylor Swift who talked truth to power and made Apple turn the core around. Performers everywhere cheered.

So here you have a rare, respected, respectable American superstar in her 20’s that much of the world would readily follow.

Time for the United States of America to appeal to Taylor’s patriotism and put her charisma to work for the nation as a whole.

Put Taylor’s face on the $100 dollar bill. No disrespect to old Ben Franklin. He was a pragmatic person, he wouldn’t let his personal glory stand in the way of the nation’s progress. Replace his face on the $100 with Taylor’s, and instantly people will gravitate to “C” notes like locusts to crops.

And the Treasury, having finally broken out of its musty old habit, shouldn’t then ease up on the gas. It’s not just one photo of Taylor Swift that should adorn the hundred — but dozens and hundreds of images. She’s maybe the most photographed and photogenic women in the world.

Pretty quickly her fans wouldn’t want to have just one Taylor Swift 100-dollar bill — but all 1,000 of them.

Do the math. That adds up to $100,000. And because people would want to save these bills, preferably in mint (or printing press) condition, pretty soon people who formerly didn’t give a thought to nest eggs, will start having substantial savings.

No, they won’t be earning interest because their holdings are in cash, but nobody’s earning much interest anymore anyway.

And Taylor Swift greenbacks will have an excellent chance of appreciating in value as collector’s items. You get one of those Taylor hundreds with an early serial number, then keep it hermetically protected — voila, 30 or 40 years later, it’s worth thousands!

Finally American money could get its edge back. Bitcoin, the virtual currency that I don’t even begin to comprehend, has been eating real money’s lunch. It’s hot.

But Taylor Swift is hotter.

And personal finance is not an alien topic to her. Her dad was a Merrill Lynch broker as she grew up in Pennsylvania, back when she was just the girl nobody realized yet was the coolest on the planet.

I’m sure Taylor would be amenable to being the face of the U.S. money, talking up savings and investment and taking control of our financial destinies. Imagine the frenzy that would greet each new edition of her $100.

And don’t think it wouldn’t strengthen our worldwide grip as well. Give it up, Euro, pound and yuan. You’ve got nobody to give your cash the cachet that Ms. Swift gives ours. The money of choice — American — Taylor made.

Copyright © 2015 Lone Oak Publishing Co., Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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